Sunday, May 6, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Hugs and Friendship
This is an open letter to my friends:
If you have met me, you know that I am not a hugger. It's not that I won't give you a hug, it's just has to be for something important (i.e. babies, sadness, etc). I can hug kids and babies all day long, but not adults. It makes me uncomfortable for some reason. I live in the south, where everyone hugs all the time for no other reason then, "Hey I am going to get groceries, give me a hug!" I have actually been thinking about this a lot lately because the topic of friendship has come up in the past few months. In my mind, friendship and hugging are socially paired..
I am...socially awkward. I tend to dread social gatherings. I have a great time once I get there, but it takes a lot of inward mental monologue to get me there. When I do get there, sometimes I end up saying something completely inappropriate. And by sometimes, I mean usually. I don't gauge the room very well. I also don't have many friends.
I have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. Oh and dirty. I have a dirty, dirty mind. I cuss like a sailor and I am blatantly honest. These are all things I value in other people, as well. Not the cussing so much, I mean I don't require my friends to have potty mouths. It is a bonus, though :)
The reason I bring these things up is not to selfishly talk about myself but to point out that I may not be the easiest person to get along with.
In the past few years I have been VERY privileged to know some extraordinary women. These women helped me through thick and thin and over the past year a few of these friends fell by the wayside. I do not take this easily. I don't have siblings or close family members, so my friends really are my family. It hurts deeply when I lose a friend. I tend to rely on friends as if they were family and that makes me very uncomfortable.
When friendships falter, I get angry. I tend to blame the other party. Recently, I have learned that it is just as much my fault as it is theirs. I doubt myself. I tend to think, "What did I do wrong?" "Am I too needy?" "Was I too much of a bitch?" Then something in the back of my brain rallies and says, "There is nothing wrong, you are AWESOME. They just don't get it." When I talk to Mark about it, the conversation goes something like:
Jessica: "It hurts my feelings, I am AWESOME. Why can't they see that?"
Mark: "You are awesome but 1) it may take a truly awesome person to recognize that and 2) you may not be doing the most YOU can to maintain that friendship and 3) you are not the easiest person to get along with."
He is right. I am not a girly girl. I don't squeal in delight at little things (well except for babies and English bulldogs but doesn't everyone?) I am not rainbows, sunshine and happiness and that may turn people off. People tend to come to me for problems and sympathy but not to share happiness and that's because that's what I tend to give them. I don't call anyone because I am happy and want to share good news so why should I expect that from anyone else?
So, at the ripe old age of 32, I have grown up....a little. The close friends I do have are out of this world, fantastic. Bright, intelligent, caring, funny women who I am privileged to know. Here is my promise to my friends; past, present or future.
1) No more bullshit idle gossip. I have been bad about this in the past, I admit it. It's hurtful and I am done.
2) No passive aggression. I will tell you how I feel good or bad. I will let you know how much you mean to me.
3) I will try to hug you more, but I cannot guarantee that.
4) I will try not to be so judgmental. I am not a perfect mother/person/wife and neither is anyone else.
5) I will never give up on you. Ever.
You guys mean so much to me and I appreciate everything you do whether I say it or not. I cannot change the fact that at the core of me, I am a sarcastic bitch or that eye rolling is seriously a biological reaction. I can't change the fact that I think fart jokes are insanely hilarious or that old people cussing makes me pee my pants. That's just who I am. F*ck em' if they cant take a joke, right?
I guess what I am saying is, thanks for loving me for who I am. I will try so very hard to make sure you are loved and appreciated. Oh and the hugging thing is seriously not guaranteed. Seriously.
If you have met me, you know that I am not a hugger. It's not that I won't give you a hug, it's just has to be for something important (i.e. babies, sadness, etc). I can hug kids and babies all day long, but not adults. It makes me uncomfortable for some reason. I live in the south, where everyone hugs all the time for no other reason then, "Hey I am going to get groceries, give me a hug!" I have actually been thinking about this a lot lately because the topic of friendship has come up in the past few months. In my mind, friendship and hugging are socially paired..
I am...socially awkward. I tend to dread social gatherings. I have a great time once I get there, but it takes a lot of inward mental monologue to get me there. When I do get there, sometimes I end up saying something completely inappropriate. And by sometimes, I mean usually. I don't gauge the room very well. I also don't have many friends.
I have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. Oh and dirty. I have a dirty, dirty mind. I cuss like a sailor and I am blatantly honest. These are all things I value in other people, as well. Not the cussing so much, I mean I don't require my friends to have potty mouths. It is a bonus, though :)
The reason I bring these things up is not to selfishly talk about myself but to point out that I may not be the easiest person to get along with.
In the past few years I have been VERY privileged to know some extraordinary women. These women helped me through thick and thin and over the past year a few of these friends fell by the wayside. I do not take this easily. I don't have siblings or close family members, so my friends really are my family. It hurts deeply when I lose a friend. I tend to rely on friends as if they were family and that makes me very uncomfortable.
When friendships falter, I get angry. I tend to blame the other party. Recently, I have learned that it is just as much my fault as it is theirs. I doubt myself. I tend to think, "What did I do wrong?" "Am I too needy?" "Was I too much of a bitch?" Then something in the back of my brain rallies and says, "There is nothing wrong, you are AWESOME. They just don't get it." When I talk to Mark about it, the conversation goes something like:
Jessica: "It hurts my feelings, I am AWESOME. Why can't they see that?"
Mark: "You are awesome but 1) it may take a truly awesome person to recognize that and 2) you may not be doing the most YOU can to maintain that friendship and 3) you are not the easiest person to get along with."
He is right. I am not a girly girl. I don't squeal in delight at little things (well except for babies and English bulldogs but doesn't everyone?) I am not rainbows, sunshine and happiness and that may turn people off. People tend to come to me for problems and sympathy but not to share happiness and that's because that's what I tend to give them. I don't call anyone because I am happy and want to share good news so why should I expect that from anyone else?
So, at the ripe old age of 32, I have grown up....a little. The close friends I do have are out of this world, fantastic. Bright, intelligent, caring, funny women who I am privileged to know. Here is my promise to my friends; past, present or future.
1) No more bullshit idle gossip. I have been bad about this in the past, I admit it. It's hurtful and I am done.
2) No passive aggression. I will tell you how I feel good or bad. I will let you know how much you mean to me.
3) I will try to hug you more, but I cannot guarantee that.
4) I will try not to be so judgmental. I am not a perfect mother/person/wife and neither is anyone else.
5) I will never give up on you. Ever.
You guys mean so much to me and I appreciate everything you do whether I say it or not. I cannot change the fact that at the core of me, I am a sarcastic bitch or that eye rolling is seriously a biological reaction. I can't change the fact that I think fart jokes are insanely hilarious or that old people cussing makes me pee my pants. That's just who I am. F*ck em' if they cant take a joke, right?
I guess what I am saying is, thanks for loving me for who I am. I will try so very hard to make sure you are loved and appreciated. Oh and the hugging thing is seriously not guaranteed. Seriously.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Georgisms...the sign that your child thinks you are an idiot
Conversation #1
This conversation happened April 28th, 2012 while riding in the car.
George: Daddy, what is the fastest river in the world?
Daddy: What do you mean by fast? Like how fast it goes over rocks?
George: Well you know how a river turns into a waterfall? Fast like that?
Daddy: Do you mean the rate that the water deteriorates the rocks beneath it or the way gravity effects water falling?
George: (rolls eyes) SIGH....WWWAAAAAATTTTTEEEERRRR FAAALLLLLLLLLLLL (pointing to his lips) you hear what I am saying? WAAATTTEEEERRRR FALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DUH
W.A.T.E.R.F.A.L.L
(as in hey stupid, do you not hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?)
At this point I almost drive off the road from laughing so hard.
Conversation #2 - same night
Oma and Grandad are watching the kids while we are at a party. Oma has put the boys to bed and proceeds to try and play a movie on our unfamiliar TV system. They try figuring it our for a few minutes (picture primates beating a stick against a rock :) ) and give up. They then have the brilliant idea of asking my six year old son how to play a movie. The same six year old who is already fast asleep in bed.
Oma: (trying not to wakethe beast Henry) whispers "George, hey George, how do you play a movie? Can you come and show Oma and Grandad how to play a movie?"
George: (sleepy) "Just press the button, Oma! I am not getting up."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That boy....
This conversation happened April 28th, 2012 while riding in the car.
George: Daddy, what is the fastest river in the world?
Daddy: What do you mean by fast? Like how fast it goes over rocks?
George: Well you know how a river turns into a waterfall? Fast like that?
Daddy: Do you mean the rate that the water deteriorates the rocks beneath it or the way gravity effects water falling?
George: (rolls eyes) SIGH....WWWAAAAAATTTTTEEEERRRR FAAALLLLLLLLLLLL (pointing to his lips) you hear what I am saying? WAAATTTEEEERRRR FALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DUH
W.A.T.E.R.F.A.L.L
(as in hey stupid, do you not hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?)
At this point I almost drive off the road from laughing so hard.
Conversation #2 - same night
Oma and Grandad are watching the kids while we are at a party. Oma has put the boys to bed and proceeds to try and play a movie on our unfamiliar TV system. They try figuring it our for a few minutes (picture primates beating a stick against a rock :) ) and give up. They then have the brilliant idea of asking my six year old son how to play a movie. The same six year old who is already fast asleep in bed.
Oma: (trying not to wake
George: (sleepy) "Just press the button, Oma! I am not getting up."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Christmas 2011...in April 2012.
As previously posted, I am really delayed in memory blogging yada yada yada.
Ahem...I bring you Christmas 2011!!!!! ..................... in April. WOOHOO
This year (2011) we decided that it was time for Santa to come to our house instead of anywhere else. It may be small but this is our home and we are tired of traveling during the holidays.
In our house, you have to play a game of tetris furniture to fit a Christmas Tree in but we did it. In the past we had used a fake Christmas Tree but for the past two years we have bought a real tree at George's School. Part of the proceeds go to the school so it was a win-win. Plus it's ten times easier to put up. Walking home 5 blocks with that thing precariously balanced in the red flyer wagon? Not so easy. Mark says it builds character and I will just take his word for that.
We have no fireplace or even a mantle, for that matter. I found this stocking tree online somewhere and thought it was perfect for our situation. It actually says "Starkey Family" at the top. Love it.
If you don't know the below Christmas movie than WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? In case you have had your head stuck in the sand for the past, oh, twenty years, that is "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" and it is LITERALLY on repeat at our house. It's really the only Christmas movie I watch over and over again. It makes me laugh every.single.time. Plus I have fond memories of snuggling a newborn Henry to this movie.
We left a few things for Santa this year. Along with the traditional cookies and milk (in a Howard's cup, which was not my choice but fitting) the boys wanted to leave chicken nuggets. I am sure Santa appreciated the protein.
We spent Halloween in Disneyworld and brought back a few ornaments. I usually get personalized ornaments for each of the family members showing what they did that year but these were too good not to pass up. Jack the Pumpkin King and Mickey and Minnie? So awesome.
Of course there is the pickle ornament. When Mark and I went on our honeymoon we spent A LOT of time in Epcot's Germany and this was one of the things we discovered. We bought one and then promptly lost it figuring we wouldn't need it for a while. Little did we know we were so fertile. I remembered to get another one while as Disney this year and hid it on the tree. George found it right away. We will need to make it more challenging next year.
I got this motorized mini-cooper on sale at Target on black Friday thinking it would be a snap to put together. It.was.not. WE WERE EXHAUSTED.
Believe it or not, the Cozy Coupe was incredibly harder to put together than the cooper and had my engineer father very very angry.
The Santa Trap!! I saw this on Pinterest and thought it was an amazing idea. It always takes the adults more time to get ready for present opening than the kids, so this kept them at bay for a while. Until they realized that they could just rip it open. Still a good idea. At least we got the coffee made while they were figuring that out.
Henry found his home in the Cozy Coupe and really lost interest in anything else. We had to convince him to open his other presents. Which he did, in the Cozy Coupe.
Mommy & Daddy. So tired. So TIRED.
After the present opening, we got ready and drove 1.5 hours to Warrington, VA to see the extended family.
This is Henry at the end of the day. I felt the same way, too.
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